Conan is a Barbaric film...

Conan: I live, I love, I slay, I am content..

** out of *****

(2 out of 5) 

Oh my, Mr. Nispel, What have you done? You took a beloved cheesy classic and tried to make it serious, this film has so many problems and it defiantly doesn't know what it want's to be, it drags through making the film so boring at part's that it made me crawl out my skin, and even, dare I say check my phone for the time, this film is extremely long and is just not what it claims to be, the trailers made it look like a action packed, gore fest, that was a total misunderstanding, there's barley any fun parts here either, it really kills me to rip through this but it's just not a good film, and it's disappointing, because it had such potential, but it failed miserably, its not a horrible film, but by all means it's not good, and it's very hard for me to dislike a film, but this just about does it, with cheesy dialogue and actors that try so hard to be serious it looks like there laughing inside trying to keep a straight face, it's really that bad, it just really doesn't work at all. 

The film is honestly laughable in the beginning to where I felt like leaving, but I just wanted to see how it was, and I'm paying for it now, it's not a guilty pleasure either it really makes you feel sick, that Hollywood ruined Conan, because they had a change and they ruined it, hopefully we get a remake because this isn't even better that Conan: The Destroyer, and that's pretty bad to say. The effects in this film aren't done good either nothing is realistic or believable, and from a hour and thirty minuets in its not even fun, its just boring until the last hour or so it starts to pick up with non stop gore and violence, the music and editing is crap too, it's just really not a enjoyment until the end. Dare I even start to rave about the shitty 3D conversion in this film, it was blurry and left me with a splitting headache and sore eyes for around thirty minuets, I didn't even have a 2-D choice, but I got a free pass for this film, and I see why now, the 3D was a waste of time and just as bad as Clash Of The Titan's conversion, I really wanted to like this film, and I even convinced myself it was" ok" but I can't hide it, it was a poor film, and especially for Conan...ugh...Dear God, I say pass this film because you won't even remember it in a second, Its a pass..even for a fan.

The cast tried their best with this film, they really did and you can see them try and try again but it doesn't work, Jason Momoa was good as Conan and did steal the show..if you call it that but other than that..its really not good at all... it gets two stars for trying and it should be grateful for that.